I had a good experience this weekend. I've spent the last few years bearing my grief on my own (other than the support of my husband). I didn't know anyone personally that could really relate to how I was feeling. Or so I thought. There is a woman in our town that has lost just about as many babies as I have. My husband found out that she had experienced this and told me that she would talk to me anytime. I'm the type of person who tries to hide what I'm feeling. I put on a mask that says to the world "I'm fine, no problems in the world at all." So I never talked to her about this, until this weekend. I was feeling kinda low, and she was online, so I started a conversation and asked her if she still grieved over her losses or if I was just abnormal. She was so good about talking to me. She reassured me that I was very normal and that I would probably miss them for the rest of my life. But she added that I should not let it consume my everyday life to the point that it affects things around me. At first I felt a little offended, but then I got to thinking....I let it affect everything around me. It's ok to miss my babies, and it's ok to grieve at times, but I just can't let it rule my life. That cheats my husband and my adopted daughter. So I've decided I'm going to live my life. I will miss them, but I will make sure I remember what I do have. What a good lesson to learn.
Ok, now I have something to get you involved. I don't know how many people read this for sure, but if you are one who reads this, I want to know you. I would love to see if this blog is speaking to anyone. If you read this blog send me a message and let me know a little bit about yourself. YOu can share some of your story, or just share something about who you are. I don't want this to be one-sided. You can e-mail this to the blog e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or leave it as a comment. I have it set up that the comments have to go through me before they get published, so if you do that and don't want it shared, I don't have to publish it. I will only share if you specifically ask me to share it with others. This will also give me a chance to put you on my prayer list. If you have a specific prayer request, let me know. This is not all about me....and I hope I never make it that way. Love you all!
Lord, I just pray for the readers, whoever they are. I know a couple of them that read this blog, but if there are others that I do not know, just touch them right now. God, use this blog for your glory, not mine. Speak to me on how to speak to others. Thank you for who you are and what you continue to do in my life and the lives of others. I love you so much.